Mommies In The Making

A Month

Today marks a month since we found out Violet was not pregnant from IVF. It has been a hard month filled with  lots of sadness and anger. As the month has gone on we are still incredibly sad about being IVF losers, but the pain has started to seep from the surface and join the collective pool of our TTC pain. I am glad it is not constantly on our minds and just a jab of pain when it crosses our minds.

We have thought a lot about what direction we are going to go towards and have decided on a big change. We have filled out the forms and will be attending a foster/adoption seminar in late January. We will star the ten week long foster/adoption courses in January. As an educator, I have seen some of my children taken from their homes and placed in foster care and I always feel enormous pain for these children. Going into foster care has to be one of the scariest things a child can experience and I want to provide a safe and loving home for children who have been given multiple blows through their short lives. Violet is very on board for adopting a child or two from the foster care system, but is slightly reluctant to foster because of the attachments that can be formed between foster child and foster parent. I am less worried about this than her but am aware of the heartbreak that could occur. So our plan is to attempt fostering at first with hopes to adopt, but if we get too attached and have a hard time when the children go back to their birth mother, then we will switch our preference to adoption only.  There are so many children in the foster care system that need forever families. Anyone have experience with this route before?

Even though I hope Violet and I can start building our family with the help of the foster care system, we have not given up hope that one of us could get pregnant and will start the TTC process with me (Peony) in the summer. I have gained some weight over the past few years which has caused some PCOS issues to arise, so I need to get that under control before throwing thousands of dollars a month at trying to get pregnant.

Lastly, we received the most wonderful ornaments and Christmas gifts from the ladies over at Insert Metaphor. The package came at the most wonderful time and really made our day. I will post pics as soon as I find our battery charger for our camera.


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7 thoughts on “A Month

  1. Congratulations on making this decision! It’s a big one, but it will have such an enormously positive impact on peoples’ lives, not least your own. Best of luck on this journey to your children–however they come into your lives!

  2. I’m really happy you guys have found some peace and a way to move forward. Your children will come into your lives, one way or another.

  3. Looking forward to seeing the ornament pics…those are some wonderfully creative ladies over at Insert Metaphor.
    So sorry your plans didn’t work out this year, but hoping 2011 is much better for you. Fostering is one of the most challenging and selfless things you can do. I have friends with experience in fostering and it can be a roller-coaster, but extremely rewarding. Best of luck!

  4. c storm on said:

    I’m not saying this happens for everyone, but we stopped trying after failed everything…went to foster / adopt classes prepared to do a legal risk placement with an infant, any infant. Got a random call one day about an emergency. They needed a place for the weekend for a little girl, age six but emotionally a baby, could we help. Well sure, what’s a weekend? They brought us the saddest, scardest, most in-trouble little girl you can imagine. The whole gamut. Lead poisoned, lice, scabies, malnutrition, severe trauma. Long story short, we fought and fought and fought and adopted her when she was eight. We did one more throw-away cycle, because we had the stuff, with no medications, no iui, no real hopes. And nine months late, we had a little girl. We are delighted with our girls. It has been wonderful for us.

  5. De- lurking here to say we also are going the adoption route and our MAPP classes start Jan 29th 🙂 We went ahead and created our profile back in October – when we finally decided to stop trying. We looked at the kids on the adoption websites and our in our hearts we knew it was the right choice. Wouldn’t you know a month after we put up that profile we were chosen by a single mother to adopt her baby. She’s still pretty early in the pregnancy so anything could happen. Reguardless though we are still planning on foster/adopting so we are continuing with the classes and homestudy through the state. I really thought that we wouldn’t get to parent children and now I know…we were chosen for something special. Not every person could be an adoptive parent and I find a great deal of comfort in that.

  6. I’m sending love. I’m excited for your new direction but I know how real the pain still is. I hope the new year brings some joy.

    I’m glad you liked the package and that it brought some cheer!

  7. jilldab on said:

    sounds like a big decision that obviously was not easy to come to. you and violet seem like you will be fantastic parents no matter how the fortunate child comes to you. wishing you the best!

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