Mommies In The Making

Left Field

I have been looking forward to today for a long time. Violet and I drove up to the fertility clinic to have an u/s to check for how many follicles Violet is growing after  taking injectables for four days.  And the number???


4 fucking follicles

After four days of stiming her four follicles are measuring at 9mm, 9 mm, 10mm and 12mm with no mention of any other onesI was so not expecting that, so much that I did not even completely process how awful  this potentially could be until after we left.  I never even considered the possibility of Violet being  a poor responder to the stims. In my mind the only  time that I would possibly get bad news during this IVF cycle  would be pregnancy test time. As I reflect back, I see how strange and overly optimistic that was.   For the first time since ever considering IVF I realized that there is a real chance that we may not have any embies to transfer. Wow,I did not expect the emotional beating to come so early in a cycle.  The news we received really came out of left field for me.  I want to scream. I want to cry. I have this horrible feeling that the news is going to continue getting worse and worse as we proceed with this cycle.  I just want to be done with it.

I was so taken off kilter that I did not even ask our doctor what our options are at this point. Should we cancel the cycle? Would she respond better to a different cocktail of drugs? I jsut don’t know at this point.

As we were driving back, I finally understood how people give up on fertility treatments. Before today, I never understood people who after so long trying would stop all fertility treatment. I get it. It is emotionally hard. You get slammed down at times you expect it and even worse, times you do not.


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13 thoughts on “Left Field

  1. prettyisa on said:

    Hi, I just started reading, but I wanted to comment and say that I really hope things work out with this attempt and that those four follies step up and get you some good embryos!

  2. Deep, deep breaths. This is ok! After six days of stims, I had 4 measurable follicles (but had 19 retrieved). My wife had NONE after six days of stims (but had 20 or 21 retrieved). IVF is different, they start you slow and steady. Hang in there!! ((()))

  3. Thinking of you and hoping anofferingoflove’s comment has brought some reassurance. I know I will be having these same questions in a few weeks – glad this community is available. At my consultation I remember hearing a similar expected response for me in the first week. They are so worried about OHSS that I’m being started really low and they want slow progress initially. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  4. New reader here =) I too was a late bloomer. TO have four already is pretty good! At day 6 of stims I had 0 measureable follies but at my 9 day u/s showed 22 measurable follies….You’ll see that more will pop up as the stimming continues.

    GROW!! GROW!! GROW!!

  5. Please don’t give up hope! I was in the same place when we did our IVF cycle. I only had four follies and told my wife that I didn’t think I wanted to proceed! She wouldnt let me give up. We didn’t have another u/s, at our ER we ended up with 7 eggs (not sure how) and in the end 6 blasts…… And now one baby on the way! I know how discouraging it can be but don’t give up!!

  6. jilldab on said:

    Really hoping things keep moving forward. Sometimes it just takes a little longer. I would ask about upping the does of meds – they did that with me and it worked out well. try to keep the faith as long as you can!

  7. I don’t think I had any measurable follicles at day 4 of stimming, either, at least not with my first IVF cycle. I’m trying to look at my blog to see for sure, but I didn’t seem to write exact dates down. In any case, I got 13 eggs the first time and 14 the second time, and had excellent fertilization with ICSI.

    Anyhow, those sound like good numbers to me. If Violet has 4 in the measurable range, she prob has a lot of smaller ones that they just didn’t mention. Even if she doesn’t, those sound like 4 awesome follicles. Sometimes the staff at the RE’s office forget that our lives are hanging on their every word.

    It’ll be okay, really!

  8. Don’t give up yet! Hoping the next u/s is the up swing in the rollercoaster ride you are on.

  9. It sounds like it is not as bad as you think, judging from others’ comments. Maybe it’ll all work out despite this disappointment. Hang in there!

  10. Please don’t give up hope. My son came into existance when our retrieval only yielded 4 ova, of which only two were viable.

  11. Hang in there. IVF is often really slow to start, and then all of a sudden, WHAM! your ovaries look like honeycomb because there are so many big follicles. If the current protocol isn’t working, the RE can always change things up. That’s the good thing about IVF, you get really close monitoring, so the doctors will know how best to help you.

  12. Hugs – I hope the next scan is infinitely better. I hate getting blind-sided like that.

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